(My answer might surprise you. Children whose parents constantly say "I'm proud of you" may grow to be adults who rely on other people's opinion of them for validation. For Stein, the worst compliment is hearing: "You've lost soooo much weight! Consequently I now cringe every time I hear the term being used out of context . When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration and respect for you and that can be a powerful thing. A Macquarie Dictionary definition of proud is: feeling pleasure or satisfaction over something conceived as highly honourable or creditable to oneself. The phrase "Im proud of you" insinuates that the speaker (parent, teacher, co-worker, boss) has more experience, or power, or in some manner has the right to pronounce their opinion, on someone elses effort. I got into a conflice with her sons girlfriend because this young woman was working in a store behind the til and had made a gross error in punching out my cash register amounts on my bill and I had to go and confront her to get a refund as the store owed me about $50 due to her errors. I am in awe of your talent and accomplishments. I have a one year old boy and a two month old boy, and I had my first day back at work yesterday. Dear! Especially when your best friend is saying You make me proud, they arent just complimenting you. Image used under license from Shutterstock, research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you", protective role in a their child's mental health, Should Children And Parents Be Friends? Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool that can help to encourage and motivate people. How many people in your life can say, "I'm proud of you," and you take it fully and without any sort of resentment or dismissal? I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything in the world. The effect of this praise might be opposite to the aim of the parent. For what? In most situation expresses negative connotations, such as "He is very ", which means he is over proud of himself (). I wouldnt say Im proud of you in this situation. This is what makes the difference in whether the receiver feels great or resentful. Yeah, this means a lot to me. However, is this what happens? This mindset will help you achieve your goals, too. They may continually search for praise from their bosses, their co-workers, their partners. 03:48. In what context. One of the most common phrases they use to express their feelings is Im proud of you. Try either "I'm happy for you!" or, what I find more accurate, "You bring me joy." "You bring me joy," communicates the sentiment nicely. They can be in dictionaries but over time can have slightly different meanings depending how they are used. "I'm proud of you" is often associated with mentor-mentee relationships, something that a teacher or parent might say. The key words (for this discussion) are creditable to oneself. Updated 7th September 2016; and 19th April 2019. Keep believing in me, I will make you proud more and more. If these 10 phrases come up often, they're signs he doesn't want a relationship with you, and you should move on with someone who can be the person you deserve. They often tell each other they are proud of one anothers achievements and they all know its genuine. In this blog, well take a look at Im proud of you and how to respond to it in a meaningful way. But, the real credit goes to you and you only! By being proud of me that person shares their mind and soul with my mind and soul and includes me in a certain extended period of that persons life. I am very proud of you too; we all are. What, do you really? Again, these phrases are my evaluation of my childs effort. What do they perceive - when a parent (or teacher) says "Im proud of you"? To reply to that right, here are the better and funny responses to I am proud of you from your bestie. Thats the response I was expecting from you. My boys are all each others fan club and its marvelous. Simply thanking them or hugging them is an immediate reaction to it. Don't disguise it as concern, either. (thanks to TK and Andy for helping think this through.). I, too, rightly believe that I had little to do with my offspring making his way in life in a manner that is worthy, but as parent, conveying I am proud of you, has distinctive and important meaning. I also told her I had a great time & that she picks up my spirits. Embrace Pride There are positive reasons to listen when someone says they are proud of you. But who are you to affirm? But some of us never heard the expression in our lives till we were adults. It can be difficult to respond to Im proud of you if youre struggling with self-doubt. Thank you all, too. Partner: "You think you have a lot going on, let me tell you . I didnt expect that this would mean so much for us. Linda Adams, in her book Be Your Best, quotes Charleszetta Waddles (African American activist): You cant give people pride, but you can provide the kind of understanding that makes people look to their inner strengths and find their own sense of pride. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies. Im proud of myself, too. Thats why we feel pride in our childrens accomplishments. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and can help you to overcome self-doubt. (a short read). Approval is a parent's judgement of a child's choices - and to a child, this feels like a judgement of them as a person. Those of us who were brought up around this attitude are understandably wary of the phrase, and likely to avoid it. This is 20 years ago, and I still remember this moment. Renew your PET skills; complete the full course over flexible times; or one-off parenting sessions. However what messages might our children actually hear? I dont think my children have any problem with this because they know, in many other ways, I love them dearly. Let them know how much better you feel now that you're smokefree. 7. Great to hear this. Happy I did it, finally! My native language is not English, but I have fallen into the unfortunate (for somethings) of social netwoks, like facebook. Why are you taking the credit for my effort? (I'd prefer "Congratulations! "I know you have a lot going on . Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling. 7. There are some super special and engaging responses you can give when someone very close to you, says that theyre proud of you. People Who Say These 5 Words Have Very Low Emotional Intelligence. They include: courage, commitment, imagination and compassion, and oh yes, patience -- lots of it -- because it doesn't happen overnight. But the Bible warns us against a self-centered, egotistical pride that says, "Look at me; look at . Briefly, some difficulties include: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. If someone calls you boring: "Yeah, and what makes you so exciting?" Nothing,. Updated: Dec. 11, 2020. posted by aimedwander at 4:27 PM on May 17, 2015 . Best of BBC Future. It means that in their eyes you have come a long way from a place you began. As soon as you break . My friends tell me that rather often so like once every month or so, which I think is a lot, if you say it more often you'll take it for granted for sure. A good friend of mine, who has had a tough life, has just written and published her first book. "Always work hard, be honest, and be proud of who you are.". 5. Since first publishing this piece, I've spent many years thinking about, and discussing, why children might like to hear their parents say "I'm proud of you". I had a lot of this type of treatment in that small community. Because this was someone elses idea. Be proud of who you are. 2. The next morning, I woke up to an email in my inbox that was one line: "I'm really proud of you." Like Im only worth anything just because Im making money? 2. He's proud of you. I knew it, if no one was going to like this. Glad that I keep our family tradition alive. My boyfriends ex, posted a im so proud of you on a photo he posted: something he achieved. I agree with you: its sad that he did what my parents should have done. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. Ah. Someone else's pride in you does not usually translate to pride in yourself. For me, this was a huge take-away moment. . The same trope appears in many childrens movies (Babe, Mulan)is there anything more important to a child than their parents love and approval? Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see, 43 Motivational Messages For Hard Working Boyfriend, funny excuses to ask for money from your parents, How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, 9 Best Answers To How Was Your Interview?, 16 Clever Comebacks When Someone Tells You To Grow Up, 18 Best Responses To Backhanded Compliments On Social Media. What does it mean when someone tells you that they are proud of you? This is a very interesting discussion for me. Try The Behaviour Window. Let me tell you why. What Does It Mean When Someone Says I'm Proud Of You? 2. Thats what I think. Thanks! Id opt for saying, Im happy for you. It's nothing bad or unusual. Grandparents And Grandchildren: Observations From A Parent In-Between. Disclaimer: The articles, blogs, testimonials and P.E.T. When you respond to someones words of admiration with gratitude, youre showing that you value and respect them. Instead of these phrases, focus on how proud you are of the person. I dont know that you provided a litmus test, but the article acted as such for me. John decides to replicate his painting (for the reward of praise, not for his own sense of improvement and competence), and looks up at his mother with rapturous expectation. What are we trying to say or do, when we innocently, and with the best of intentions, praise our children with "Im proud of you"? You had nothing whatsoever to do with any of this you pond-bottom suckers.. 15. relationship advice marriage advice Women love advice. Its 10 years later, and I hope that, by now, you have told your children, if you mean it, that you are proud of them. And, that nearest person could be your parents, partner, or friends. But worse, my friend thanked them. All rights reserved. To try to sum this up, I mrried and ended up in a small, isolated village filled with people who either did not graduate high school or barely achieved that level of schooling. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. I was very irritated and angry. Well also discuss the power of words, the benefits of responding with gratitude, and how to show appreciation to others. 8. I think children want simply to be accepted and respected as themselves. They have everything to do with your strength, and what you've endured. It's a pretty good deal. My ex just said the same thing to me yesterday and it just didnt sound right to me. 1. The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation. I was very annoyed with her (mainly due to her attitude) and balled her out at the til. One of the wives of these manual labourers had befriended me in church and was an older woman. A strong argument is a solid one. You could also feel patronised. So, if youve achieved something in your educational or professional field, and someone informs you theyre proud of you, it means you did a great job there. Thanks. Its my feeling that I should only express pride in something Ive accomplished. 2. If youve finally graduated or youre the first one who got an A + in your entire family, your parents express how proud and happy you make them. Pause, take a deep breath, and remember who you really are. I can take pride if I made a contribution, but I have to frame it that way. This expression is much more self-focused, i.e. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre reinforcing the positive behavior that you want to see in yourself and others. Initially this sit didnt sit well with me. So as you can likely see, when people say they're "proud" of someone else's accomplishments, they're really saying they are entitled to some honor or credit in the accomplishing of those accomplishments; and when people say they are "humbled" by other people recognizing them for their accomplishments, what they really mean is they . If you get a new job, get a participants medal for a 10K or do anything deemed worthwhile, friends, family and acquaintances will say they are so proud of you!!!. Whatever I did, I just did it for our friendship, Bro. We love all of our readers and we want to you to know how much youre appreciated! However, the other expression Im really happy for you is so overused that it immediately rings the bell of insincerity. You have overcome something you may not had confidence in yourself to succeed. Who determines the meaning of words? I wanted to know whether or not I was overreacting.He had no hand in my achievements and since he was the one who caused me those problems, I feel he has lost every right to use that phrase with me. Thanks, buddy! Try these new and funny excuses to ask for money from your parents or your family. Ive been waiting for a long time to give you this surprise! Thats something for a parent to say or a parental figurebut only occasionally. Saying, Im proud of you, is a great word and its an expression from the heart. You must be so proud of how you're doing!"). First, is there anything more emotionally potent than someone you really care about and admire telling you, Im proud of you?, It feels like I can name many movies where this serves as the emotional climax. To be sure, "I'm really proud of you buddy" can sometimes occur between friends. Instead of acting out of rage over . Health Gap. But it had a very positive impact on this one child. From what I read, she falls into the category of know them well but I wonder if its not something a bit out of place. She says "Good boy. Just think of The Sixth Sense, where the son tells his mother that his dead grandmother wanted her daughter to know that the answer to her unspoken question was Every day., His mother begins to cry, and he asks her, What did you ask grandma, and she replies through her tears, Are you proud of me?. Its a way of saying I see the hard work youve put in and I appreciate it. When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. It may be a taunt from them to do something unusual. There may be times when he gets some details wrong, but no one is taking score about who gets the fine points right most of the time. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre showing that you value the words of the person expressing their admiration and respect for you. If this is the case, then of whom is the parent really proud? Is it OK to respond to "I am proud of you" with "Me to", "So do I", and "I am too", and "I am proud of you too"? It makes a difference I think. Didnt your manager think you were capable of putting such a report together? 16. You could feel annoyed and put out. Tell me something else, Ive heard this at home. Show your appreciation for their words and use your response to create a positive and constructive environment. 3. Second, he must know you well. . I feel virtually murderous towards them. How Do I Tell Him I Like Him The Best Method (Proven), What Does It Mean When She Calls You Daddy, Im so glad that youre proud of me. Date TBA. I again said. Its probably contempt and anger. For going back to work when Im still hardly sleeping, due to having an 8 week old at home? I dont care that I had to hear it from a video-taped personage. 2014, 2016, 2019. Here I would say something like, Youre so talented!/Thats brilliant!